When Visibility Changes the Meaning of Friendship
There is a particular kind of silence that arrives after people begin to recognize your name. It is not the silence of an empty room. Your phone may be busier than ever. People may stop to say that something you wrote helped them through a terrible morning, or that a few words you spoke gave them courage to get through the week. Those moments matter, and gratitude for them can be completely sincere. But later, when you are having the sort of ordinary difficult day that does not make a good story, you may find yourself staring at a list of contacts and wondering whom you can call without being expected to encourage them first.
Visibility changes the number of people who know about us. It does not necessarily change the number of people who know us. That difference sounds simple until we have to live inside it…
Future Shock Is The Key To Understanding The Meta-Crisis In The Beauty Industry
…“Future shock is a time phenomenon, a product of the greatly accelerated rate of change in society. It arises from the super imposition of a new culture on an old one. It is culture shock in one’s own society. But its impact is far worse” (Toffler 1970, 4). When his book was first published, the insights were revolutionary. Today we are living - almost word for word - many of the scenarios he predicted would arise as a natural consequence of our inability to adapt to the pace and direction of innovation…
Dress For Yourself, Not Your Algorithm
At some point, getting dressed became more complicated than it needed to be. Every time we open TikTok, Instagram, Pinterest, or even an online store, there is another color to want, another silhouette to reconsider, another aesthetic promising to make the rest of our closet feel slightly outdated. Fashion has always moved with culture, but social media has changed the pace. Trends no longer arrive slowly through magazines, runways, music, films, or the people around us. They appear all at once, repeated so relentlessly that it can become difficult to tell where inspiration ends and persuasion begins.
That distinction matters because the algorithm is not simply showing us what is fashionable. It is learning what keeps us looking. Every pause, click, save, and search gives it another piece of information, and that information is used to decide what should appear in front of us next. Look at a burgundy bag twice and suddenly burgundy seems to be everywhere. Watch a video about a particular pair of shoes and soon you are being shown half a dozen versions of them. After enough repetition, something that barely interested you a week ago can begin to feel strangely necessary. The unsettling part is how easily repeated exposure can disguise itself as personal taste…
Process-Striving: A New Form of Status Competition In The Social Media Era
In every creative endeavor, there is a “behind the scenes” component that is less refined than the end result - a messy kitchen before a stunning meal, or the awkward rehearsals before opening night. Beauty routines, diets, workouts, planning/life management systems, and cleaning schedules, are just a few examples of the essential “behind the scenes” aspects of womanhood. These processes are integral to excelling at the roles we play in our day-to-day lives but until recently they were intentionally concealed from public view and open discussion. The allure of well-executed womanhood…